DBSK disbanding

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*EDIT*
Since this page received lots of hits despite my ramblings, i decided to file up DBSK DISBANDING articles

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Song: Stand By U- Tohoshinki
Mood: N/A

this is the hottest topic going around the net about DBSK right now i assume. But i haven't really gotten my head around that yet.
But after discussing it with twin and her friend wilson, it really did seem like reality. That they will really disband.
I dont know how i feel, its mixed feelings.
Definately not happiness if you were wondering what were these mixed feelings.
I mean DBSK is one of the most talented group of celebrities that i know of. And i do really respect them a lot. And just having to face the fact that they will disband, just having to think, i wont hear beautiful songs like Stand By U anymore, just having to accept that i wont see Jaejoong or DBSK as a whole.....really....
It's sad. that's all i can say.
I love them so much, and ive only spent this so little time with them. Im still yet to find out so much about them, and they are already disbanding?
Right now, im in a state of denial. because nothing is confirmed yet, yes. We dont know anything, so i dont want to make any assumptions.
Part of me just want to completely belief that DBSK will stay as DBSK, however, part of me just wannna mentally prepare myself.
So i wont get so much of a shock later.

Then i imagined if actually was SUJU that was disbanding, my heart literally cracked. Imagining that i will never hear Kyuhyun's voice again, and his sense of humour. Never hear Leeteuk's unique laughs, see Eunhyuk dancing, how adorable Donghae is, How vain Heenim is, how talkative kangin is, it was just even more unbearable.....

i dont know.
i dont even want to think about it right now.
It's so frightening, to think of SUJU disbanding. But there's a possibility.

The other side of this case that i try to convince myself is that this is what DBSK wants. Not the disbanding thing, but freeing from SM's suffocation. This way, maybe, even if it means they disband, perhaps its better for Jaejoong, junsu and micky. I want to believe that if they really did disband, it was for the better. THat they were happy. Because as long as they are happy....I can cope with it.
Then if i put this situation with SUJU, i am too selfish to allow it
Sigh. i dont know anymore.
But if the 3 members are leaving and there will be replacement, i dont know how i can deal with it. This just reminds me of Oh Wonbin of F.T Island, where Seunghyun received lots of love quickly.
Will it be like DBSK? will the new replacement be immediately loved? And the 3 original members replaced? Maybe not replaced, but just put away safely somewhere important in their heart.
Afterall we are all humans, we need to move on right?

Why do i speak as if they are already disbanding?
my head hurts.
im heading home.